A young adult’s view on Parental Guidance: adolescent stage

A thought after a parent-discouraged sleepover: Parents can show their children the way, but its still up to them if they want to follow it, make a detour, take a different road or create their own. It’s one thing parents should learn to accept, because once in their lives they’ve also experienced the surge of youth that’s never without the want if not the passion to learn things on their own, even to the point of foolishness. Perhaps not so genuine, but almost never ceases to be true.

The young have that innate urge to take experiences first hand in order to satisfy curiosities, prove themselves, learn things their way...etc. It’s how they develop their personalities and discover what they really want in life. Reality check though would tell, stumbling/failing/falling is never out of the possibilities, and that’s where parental fears stream in.

Plainly put, stumbling is encompassed in the good/bad/null possible consequence of every human endeavor. Yep, human endeavor and not just youth endeavor. It can happen to anyone and it happens to everyone. But why all the fear on stumbling? Parents answer: “Its enough that I stumbled before, but my child? Oh no, no.”

Parents can be overly imposing and protective because of their stumbling experiences in the past that they don’t want their beloved children to have to go through, without realizing they are blocking the possibilities and opportunities that can only come from freeing their children from too much parental bondage.

Contrary to popular thinking, stumbling is not wholly destructive. In fact it has the potential to sow inner strength and solid independence without regards to age. Remembering a beautiful line back in high school, “No gem is made without friction, not a man perfected without trial.” Every person needs a bit of pain to understand the use of painkillers. Every person needs a bit of scratch to know it is better to be careful next time. Because, only told will never be wholly understood. Perhaps that’s foolishness or perhaps that’s human nature.

That is not to say however that parents are no longer without role in an adolescent’s life, they still play a crucial role as in guidance and counseling, in keeping that atmosphere of love and belongingness, in being parents. There’s no diminishing their worth, only adjusting their roles. I hope they understand. And I hope children too understand because once parents learn to adjust, that’s when they will have their true beloved independence and everything they ever wanted will be theirs. But that’s when the true tests begin.