First Day Drop Out

As I sit in front of an outdated office computer envying its existence despite its keyboard’s ultra hard keys (my own lies hidden beneath layers of dust under my bed due to some computer gobbledygook I can’t fathom), I listen to an engrossing conversation that fills the capsulated room. It has been almost a week since I last wrote; a month since I last wrote something in English that’s worth my time.
It’s lunch time here in my workplace. By that, I mean between the hours of 12:00-12:30, although most employees seem to have this habit of prolonging it. My mind grasps for topics to write about. I know I must exercise my thinking lest it rots. Thanks to The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho for that fear I recently added to my thousand others.
Anyway, the conversation floats to one of the employees who has become a surrogate parent to one of her nieces, a scenario absolutely normal in the Philippine setting. As the most successful of the siblings, Mar dutifully took responsibility of her niece’s education from high school. And now that her Kolehiyala niece has graduated with flying colors, she helped her get into one of the most prestigious universities here in Iloilo.
According to Mar, her niece has been anticipating her first day in College since last week, but is now feeling what many unaccustomed-to-variety high schoolers experience on their first day at big universities where explosion of personalities always seem to be most evident. I myself have experienced such. Who hasn’t? Hmm. In fact I can pretty much relate with her based on description---private school education; pampered; introverted; academically good but lacking some PR; good in theory but lacking practicality. However, I developed the traits that I used to lack as I went thru the so-called College life.
Based on Mar’s story, the girl now is obsessed about quitting school, that she verbalized thru text message her desire to “just roll about on bed at home instead of putting up with loneliness in school”. The poor Aunt does her best to convince her to do otherwise. Even other employees got concerned that they made efforts to give good advices to the distraught Mar. Sadly, no amount of words could dissuade the poor niece.
All throughout the encounter, I kept my thoughts to myself however intently listening. I, who has the freshest memory of “first days” of all who were in the room. But as her decision of giving in to the demand of her niece gathered approval from everyone, I couldn’t take anymore silence. I thought of my own first day and realized how lucky I was to have had at least one whom I knew as a companion. When everyone was a bit silenced, I blurted out disapproval of her final decision. I asked if she had any friends even in different departments and found out that she had. I gave other options and suggestions. Mar texted her some of it but nothing could be done. At last poor Mar told her to just come home. What a sad thing for Mar; but even sadder for the girl who let go of that opportunity for growth.
I don’t know how many students experience this type of first day nightmare. I suppose about a half of every class in all schools in the world have students with this type of anxiety on their first day. And I know that of them, there are those who give up even before their trip to the unknown has been fully revealed before them. What can be done?
First things first. These students need listeners who would be understanding enough to see thru their stories without judgment. Indeed the way the world is depends on the looker. Imposing ideas and beliefs to these distraught students is destructive. It can only make them stick to their decision more strongly. Next would be advice from a person who knows how to give advice without preaching. A talk with a person the student respects and admires is an example. Presentation of consequences and options would come in here. Then, after all words have been exhausted, the last step would be giving space and time for the student to think.
Let her/him decide.

After all, it’s going to be her next four years to live with.